Cemetery Days 2024

Friday and Saturday were “Cemetery Day” where my husband and I pay respects to our relatives and the relatives of the people we love. It takes a lot out of me, and probably a lot out of Andrew (my brave mental health caretaker!), but it’s important. Andee’s annual visits to show ongoing respect to his relatives, before we dated and when I only had two cemeteries to visit, were among the things that drew me to him. Just sayin’. Instead of stones in the Jewish tradition, we leave the caps from bottles of fine liquor that we save throughout the year. I didn’t get to paint any of them this year but hope to get back to doing so for Cemetery Day 2025.

Andee (who keeps our social calendar) tries to schedule the outing for my mom’s birthday. 💖 I know, we’re off by a week - but work beckoned.

Day 1 began with my parents’ grave. We finally planted one of the damned plants my mom’s sister ever-so-considerately bought (“these cost a lot of money”) and expected me to take care of. Even though my mom never cared for plants. It was a chore, not a gift, and took me forever to get to it (and my husband had to do the digging since I couldn’t) - so now it’s Mom’s brown thumb’s turn. (The other died. My husband “can kill a plastic plant.” I’m no better.) I needed a drink - going to see my parents in a cemetery is always really rough - so we went to Transilvania Restaurant and Bar for a quick lunch. I always order their Bourbon Peach Smash because it reminds me of my little brother.

Next was a drive to Stamford to my grandparents. We saw bunnies in the cemetery! (They don’t like peanut butter crackers, the only food we had in the car. Next year, just in case, I’ll bring greens.) Then, Andee took me out to Tabouli Grill. It’s one of the only restaurants that I know my mom liked which is still in business. (The vegan “chopped liver” is to die for. Even without schmaltz.) Totally worth the drive - Andee took me for Harriet’s yahrzeit, too.

Day 2 included St. Lawrence in West Haven. It’s 130 acres, West Haven boasted over 50K residents when we lived there. We see so many surnames of our friends and classmates, and wonder if the deceased just have common surnames or if they’re somehow related.

Jane, we kept my promise to always visit Uncle Bob. He’s not forgotten. (Uncle Steve, you sat with Bob, his lovely wife Betsy, and his daughter Jane, at Allan’s and Patty’s wedding. He was one of Daddy’s best friends.)

Interestingly, somehow last year we didn’t notice that musician Johnny Winter rests only two graves away from Bob! (Andee nearly tripped over a bottle of Jack Daniels that someone left in tribute.) This random find was a very neat end of our day.

Bob Ard was our final stop. Then, Andee took me to Aribella for a lovely dinner served by our niece Jennifer. Since I ordered a light dinner, Andee ordered me prosecco with St. Germain - light and bubbly. I was so full that I couldn’t even finish my coffee, let alone order their amazing cheesecake.

I’m not posting pictures of any other graves we visit, not without families’ permission, but many are on the findagrave website. I’ll probably repost this text on my Blogger page, which Facebook policy won’t let me link to in posts or DMs.